The Letting Go
by Orokid
Summary: Sooner or later, Yaya knows that she has to let go and move on. Yaya x Hikari


**Orokid:**_ So… I don't particularly know why I wrote this. All I can remember is that I started this as something else… though that hadn't panned out as I though it might have. Glancing through the words, I weighed the pros and cons to changing the coupling, thinking on how it might or might not work as several different kinds of my personal fandoms. In the end… I choose Yaya and Hikari because A) I would totally be in love with Yaya, and B) because I felt for her when Hikari and Amane happened. Not that Amane isn't hot or anything, but… I love Yaya more, and I always have a weak heart for unrequited love._

_And God knows that I've been in her predicament, and I only wished that she might get whom she wanted desperately._

_Anyway… not to remember my own unrequited love, but let's get onto the disclaimer and everything…_

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that has to do with Strawberry Panic!, whether I wished I did or not. That belongs to the brillant writer and illistrator, as well as the companys that produced it to the mainstream American audience._

_In fact, I thank each and every one of you for giving me something to help with my own issues of dealing with my homosexuality. If not for this, I doubt that I'd be as willing to accept myself as I am now._

_On to the story!! _^u^

**The Letting Go**

She had been through a lot. Any other who hasn't seen life through her eyes wouldn't understand much of it. She had lived past the persecution and hate, survived through the rejection of family and friend alike, and she had grown strong through each experience.

Well… most experiences, at least.

A single memory remained, stinging at her consciousness as each second would pass, drowning her in tears while supposedly safe in her dreams. It was strange to continue to suffer from an occurrence that had been almost forgotten by time, but she had grown used to having that hole in her heart. Out of everyone, she was the only one who held tightly onto pain that no one but a skilled eye could see.

It was almost ironic, to tell the truth. Most of her friends had thought her pride would have refused the regret, and she would have continued to live as though those feelings had never existed. Most of her friends would see her laughter and remain ignorant of how frail she really was. Only she-

Only Hikari had ever learned her terrible secret, but… that shouldn't matter to her anymore.

Besides, she had other things to worry about than someone who didn't feel the same, and she knew that this had to be her priority. If she didn't treat it that way… well, she really didn't know what she'd do if she didn't focus on something else right then.

A glance into the mirror revealed a young woman, fresh out of high school and looking for a good way to restart her paused life. Softly, she used what courage she had to look into her own eyes, and what she saw didn't surprise her. The longing in her heart, the tears that had been shed, the fear, the hopelessness, the anxiety… It was all there, if one looked hard enough.

Why was she going on that double-date again? It was getting harder to remember the logical excused that had plagued her back when she had accepted the arrangements.

_Because she had asked her to._

That one could be easily overturned, remember the many promises the two of them had broken with one another. What would another one do if she refused this curtain appointment? Surely, it would mean nothing more than the others.

_She couldn't keep living her life, waiting for a love that couldn't ever be returned._

Out of the two, that had seemed the best reason she had for herself, and there was no changing that.

"You can do this, Yaya," she told her reflection, hoping to instill confidence in her very torn and beaten soul. "You _can _do this."

No matter how many times she might say it, she knew that the chances of her actually believing it were slim to none- if even that. And, as far as she saw it, slim had left town.

The door was pounded impatiently from the opposite side, and dread crept into her with each step she had taken toward it. Her heart pounded along with the knocking, though it didn't take a break like her visitor did. An awkward smile slipped past her defenses as she had pulled the door from its frame, gazing at the young woman who had come to retrieve her.

She was of a slightly tall build, and her arms were somewhat muscular, but her eyes reflected the eyes of the ocean water surrounding Okinawa. In all truths, the woman was her coworker that had asked her out on a date several times, except this time adding on a second couple so that it wouldn't seem to strange. Maybe that was what made her agree, since she hadn't all those times before, although she couldn't be too sure about that sort of thing. The only pair of eyes she had ever been unable to refuse belonged to an angel.

Besides… there didn't seem to be anything cute or innocent about this girl other than the fact that she had really wanted this day to happen.

"You ready?" The voice was annoyed, and her hands had been placed into the pockets of the slacks that she wore for warmth. Yaya's smile grew slightly, and she felt glad for her curt way of speech- it was the only thing that kept her from jumping out from her own skin.

A shrug. "More or less."

The dark haired woman swiveled, turning to face the opposite way before starting back down the hallway of the apartment building. "Then let's go. Less time here means more time at the restaurant for us and my friends to get acquainted."

She just had to remind her, didn't she? If she hadn't, she could have kidded herself into believing that she hadn't been conned into a date, let alone a double date; she may have been able to convince herself on the way to the car that this was a simple dinner between friends and co-workers, merely there to strengthen the bonds between the two of them.

Then again, the woman would seem much too strange, too excited, for her to be thinking about something like that.

Reaching into her closest, she grabbed her jacket, only to find her eyes pausing at a photograph she hadn't yet had the heart to get rid of. Her free hand took hold of the frame, and she gazed at it fondly, even without realizing the tears that glided down to soft crevasses of her cheeks for a time that she had almost forgotten about where she was meant to go that night, let alone whom with.

Closing her watery orbs, her fingertips held tightly to the photo in her hands, not wanting to let go of the memories that held tight to her heart still. Moving, she held it over the trash can… only to turn back and place it right where she had picked it up moments ago. Gazing at it a moment more, she bit down on her lower lip so not to find herself in tears before she was to leave- and carefully placed the frame front down onto the countertop.

Inhaling, she told herself that she had yet to learn how to do one thing- let go.

Turning toward the door, the brash woman she was to go out with that night gazed back at her, obviously having watched the event go on. She didn't speak, nor offer up a kind yet pitiful glance- though Yaya felt as though it was there without being shown. "Ready?"

With another deep inward breath, she gave a small yet awkward smile, brushing away the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Yeah. Let's go." She calmly walked out the door, trying hard not to look back at the photo she had left behind. In the end, she was attempting to go on with her life- whether she wanted to or not- and she hoped hard that she could.


End file.
